Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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