How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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first

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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