Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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