One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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Donald Trump

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops