Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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