Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Brain fart

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what is 3+3= 8

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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