Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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