Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops