What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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can you pass the soap?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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women's rights

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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