Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Tony Romo

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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