Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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