When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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