what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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