Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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