Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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