Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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