A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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