Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

25

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops