A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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