Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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