A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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