Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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