I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Want to hear a Joke? No.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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