A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Katy Perry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

no

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops