What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops