With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -53

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops