What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom went to college

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the fish fly It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops