I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

A russian gives away vodka.

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

What's worse than failing a test Drowning

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

Guest what in the butt

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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