What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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