How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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