Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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A woman walks into a bar.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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