Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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