Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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