How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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I'm homeless.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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