What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops