Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops