How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Rylan Clark

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops