Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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