What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops