A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Women's rights

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops