What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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