A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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kkkk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops