What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

what's white and sticky semen

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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