Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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