Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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The Big Band Theory

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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