Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops