what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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