Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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human centipede

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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