(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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