what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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