Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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