"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

I'm homeless.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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