Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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