Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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