Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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