What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

What does greg and Ian have in common?

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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