A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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12 niqqa 12.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops