Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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