Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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